According to the old wisdom, the only thing which is more pleasant than receiving gifts is giving gifts to other people. Generally, getting a present is supposed to be a very pleasurable process, however, in the reality, people tend to have a whole variety of negative feelings when it happens. Furthermore, they can even feel negative emotions about feeling negative emotions instead of a pure joy.
This article will explain to you the complexity of such feelings and you will know why such feeling can be normal and what can you do if such feeling occur.
The feeling of guilt
One of the most popular feeling occurring when one receives a present is the guilt for not being able to feel happy about this present. Actually, this is the result of another belief that it is not the present which is valuable but the attention of the person giving the present.
Indeed, this is true, however, it is crucial to understand the exact meaning of the phrase. It is not crucial what a person has actually given as a present. What counts is all the love and energy this person has spent while choosing this present.
Unfortunately, this belief was exaggerated with time too much. Now, people are supposed to be happy about any present at all just because it is a present. And, if on is not capable of doing it, it is because the person is extremely ungrateful.
In the reality, not all of the presents are made with love and attention. Many people just purchase anything they have just seen in order to have the task done without taking into consideration any needs or preferences of the person who is going to receive such a present. Definitely, such a present does not have the value which has been mentioned at the beginning. Yet, the problem of receiving such a present is the guilt which the receiver feels because she or he does not feel the excitement another person expects from the one.
What should you do in such a situation?
Certainly, some presents are more a guest of politeness especially when it comes to the people who do not have any close relations. For instance, there is nothing wrong in getting a present from your co-worker which is not necessarily relevant to your interests or preferences. In all likelihood, this person is even not aware of your needs and definitely, it is not a big issue for you either.
Still, it is different for our close people. If you are constantly getting gifts from your best friends or a partner which are not even close to what you like even though this person likes your preferences, this actually can be regarded as negligence. In such a case you have an absolute right not to be excited about receiving such a gift and you do not have to feel guilty about this feeling.
A fear of making a person get into a fuss over choosing a present for you
Some people feel uncomfortable because of a mere thought another person will have to spend one’s time trying to find a particular present. This makes it impossible for a person even to mention whatever he or she would like to receive. There are always thoughts of a possibility of another person having plans to buys something different and now this person will have to reorganise the plan and spend extra time on that.
What can you do if you have such a fear?
Actually, the majority of people would prefer to know what another person really wants to get instead of wasting time on various assumptions which still do not guarantee purchasing a right present.
A feeling of not being worthy
Another popular negative feeling is typical for people who were raised in the families in which children had to earn presents. They received what they wanted but first they had to meet particular requirements. Many of such children became adults with the feeling that any present has to be somehow earned.
If this is true for you, you might be prone to feeling uncomfortable for receiving a present in the first place. It is quite possible that such a guest from the side of another person makes you feel you will have to pay for this present in some way. Certainly, such an attitude does not let you feel free about any presents.
What can you do in such a situation?
If this is true about you, you will need to learn receiving presents again. Even though it might be difficult for you right now, you will have to get used to the feeling that many people actually enjoy making presents without any particular reason except for making another person feel good about that.